The Carolina Panthers will defeat the Denver Broncos 24-20 in Super Bowl 50, or so says the unwavering future sight of Madden NFL 16.
Pfft, what would a video game know about the complex 3 hour dance that turns men in ethereal champions? Apparently, a fair amount! Since 2004, EA’s football simulator has correctly predicted the outcome of 8 out of 12 championship games. Moreover, it’s record has been solid against both the point spread and over/under lines Vegas bookmakers have set for the game. So, yeah. Go video games!
Anywho, how does Madden predict the game will play out?
Well, Carolina will start off strong, characteristic of earlier games against Seattle and New York this season, to take a 17-0 lead into the half. Denver, at this point severely embarrassed and more Gatorade than man, will dig deep and throw 20 unanswered points onto the board, seizing a fourth-quarter lead.
But then, in a moment worthy of a mid-90s inspirational Disney movie, Panthers quarterback Cam Newton will win the game with a god damn running play! Digital beer volcanoes skyward as the digital crowd erupts in ecstasy, forever remembering this day…until someone exits to the menu.
According to Madden NFL 16, Newton will snag the Super Bowl 50 MVP (much like he is predicted to do in the real world), passing for 216 yards and one touchdown. Denver quarterback Peyton Manning, like a true hall-of-famer, will throw for 241 yards and two touchdowns.
If you’re still not convinced, a mod of Tecmo Super Bowl, done by TecmoBowl.org, also calls a Panthers’ victory, 17 to 7. And that’s Tecmo Super Bowl and that shit rules!
Regardless, the Minnesota Vikings ain’t there so what’s the point in watching! Am I right? Huh?…pfft, next season.