Turkish authorities trace downfall of the youth to Minecraft

I don’t want to alarm you but it turns out the well informed parents, totally non-hysterical lobby groups and infallible Governments of our morally just Western societies have been crucifying the wrong things as of late! Whilst saving the innocence of childhood from the horrors of Grand Theft Auto, Dungeons and Dragons, hell, even that filthy Rock n’ Roll, it turns out we’ve inadvertently allowed our homes to become invaded by the true defiler of youth. No, not Communism. Worse. Minecraft!

Well, that’s according to the Turkish government, who, according to a BBC report, are concerned about the effects of fantasy violence in Minecraft. Turkey’s family and social policies minister Aysenur Islam has ordered an investigation- including sending agents into the scary and confusing virtual world- to find evidence that Minecraft promotes aggression.

Run animals! Before the kids kick the shit through you!

Run animals! Before the kids kick the shit through you!

According to Turkish gaming site Leadergamer, the Turkish authorities are gravely concerned that Minecraft conditions children to believe that hitting animals and people is perfectly okay!

Jesus! How did we not see this coming! Before you know it the kids will be erecting crude constructions without the correct local government sanctioned permits, mining and hording resources that rightfully belong to the poor multinational companies and even bothering local ghouls like Rupert Murdoch!

It's okay Rupert. Go back to sleep.

It’s okay Rupert. Go back to sleep.

Thank you Turkish family and social policies minister, you’ve saved us all! Now excuse me as I continue to paint all the black sheep I can find rainbow, you know, before the kids see them…

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