Techland releases confusing 3D printable Dying Light statue

Um, okay. In what I can only assume sounded like a stellar idea to a bunch of dudes jacked up on coffee and sleep deprivation- Techland has decided to release a Dying Light custom statue for free…kinda.

The first two questions that should be competing for critical analysis in your Neocortex- emphatically, may I add- should be “what’s the catch?” and “why the hell would I want that?”. The latter I can’t help you with- soul searching and therapy will have to do there- but the former, I’ve got you covered!

Necrosis- not a common turn on.

Necrosis- not a common turn on.

You see, it’s technically not a tangible statue you can hold. It’s actually a 3D blueprint. You may now be thinking “But that means I need a 3D printer!”, and there’s the catch! Also, not only would you need access to the 3D printer but the materials to make it- oh, and paint. So, it quickly becomes a little tricker than it first appears.

Actually, hold up, ’cause I’m gonna back this up a bit. I get that advertising has a long and socially ingrained history of chucking women in bikinis to promote their products. I may not agree with it but sadly, I can’t argue with its results.
Cars- check. Sports goods- check. Milk- embarrassingly, a check. But reanimated, necrotic corpses whom are incubuses for a society destroying pandemic? I’m calling bullshit on that one. There’s nothing visually appealing about a dead woman in a damaged bikini top and short shorts. And what’s worse is the painful attempt at projecting sex appeal on to that image. But hey, if misogynistic necrophilia is your thing, have at it. I suppose it’s a step up (but not by a whole lot) from Dead Island’s silicone injected, ‘sexy’ bloody torso statue– since this one has appendages and a head.

If you’re still feeling this somehow, you can grab the blueprints from here.

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