Okay. Let’s break this insanity down. Markus “Notch” Persson, creator of Minecraft, just used his fuck-you Microsoft dollars to buy a megamasion, not just a regular mansion but a mega variant! Now, just what’s so amazing about his small suburb contained in four walls house? Well, pretty much everything!

That would have taken a lot of stone…

So let’s start with the price tag. This monolith of decadence hit the Beverly Hills market in August with an asking price of a casual $85 million. For that amount of pocket change you get your usual four walls, doors, candy room, a car showroom, vodka and tequila bars, a 54-foot curved glass door that opens onto the pool, eight bedrooms, 15 bathrooms, apartment-sized closets, oh, and a movie theater. Pretty standard stuff, right?

What makes this story all the more amazing is that this was a sort after property! There were actual “celebrities” duking it out for this, with one of the most high profile being World Power Couple (a title I think the world has bestowed upon them) Beyonce and Jay-Z! Nevertheless, Notch won out and the insanity didn’t stop there.

He owns a lake too apparently

This is the most ever paid for a house in Beverly Hills and the deal was closed in blistering 6 days. Notch, not content with having a basic megamasion, decided to spend the equivalent of some European countries GDP to get every available extra “from luxury furnishings to exotic electronics,” to the towers of M&Ms, giant grenade art, the replica of James Dean’s motorcycle, the 18-foot onyx dining room table (“that includes place settings by Roberto Cavalli at a cost of $3,700 each”), and three “high-definition 90-inch television screens [that] bring panoramic views of Los Angeles from the roof into the downstairs lounge.”

Notch, I tip my hat to you good sir. If a programmer from Stockholm can end up owning what could’ve been Beyonce-Z’s Ivory tower, then I can still muster up the drive to get out of bed everyday!