Welcome to Player Attack!
Well, if you are anything like me then you are sick of hearing about the Australian Federal Election. Yes you should care who wins, especially with download speeds, NBN and internet filters all being key issues this time around. But, if you aren't us lucky as me (who will be at the Monza F1 Grand Prix) you will want something to do instead of watching election coverage all weekend. Because I'm nice, I have prepared a list of games - in no particular order - which you should play instead of yelling at your tv.
If anything the music from this game will make you go more insane then the election coverage.
Let's face it, over the last few months it has all been about strategy, now it is your turn. If you haven't played a Pikmin game then you are in for a treat! Your goal: Keep the little critters alive (much like pollies are trying to do with their careers).
Either way it is a fun game for the whole family even if your brain may explode due to sheer cuteness.
Really do I have to say much? I mean it is Diablo III, not only a great game but now you can hog the TV and avoid coverage completely, because it's hit consoles!
For election weekend fun, I suggest you treat all the enemies as those pesky people outside polling booths who hassle you to vote for their party. They destroy the environment via the 10 tonnes of paper they hand out, and they also take all the good dog tie-up spots, and get between you and the sausage sizzles.
Anyway, off topic. Diablo III is finally out on console, and a great way to get your anger out through many, many hours of button mashing. (I look forward to the influx of controller failures due to broken buttons.)
Think this country sucks? Well then, build your own!
Utilising your favourite Disney characters, you can now pretend that the government doesn't even exist. You can ether play out missions in each character's universe or build your own in a Minecraft-style construction.
I suggest for election weekend you build your own. I would suggest one with world peace, fast internet and chickens. "Why chickens," you ask. Well, because that is what I had for breakfast at my hotel. In Italy... where I am going to the Monza GP ...instead of watching election coverage in Australia.
So many comments about politicians living in a fantasy land... so many comments.
Excluding the fact that "Final Fantasy" is possibly the worst name after this many versions ever, it's still a great game. If you are a fan of Japanese RPG then you wont want to miss this one, particularly now it's online. Armed with kicking mosters and an even better soundtrack, this will keep you emerged all weekend only coming up for the occasional breath (make sure you vote first, obviously!).
Even though the game has had some teething issues since launch, it won't take nearly as long to fix as it would for a policitian to make good on a promise, maybe with something like faster internet.
OK, OK this one will get me in trouble, but seriously - is there any better game for election weekend?
I can think of the comments now as you fire off round after round. This shot was for bad NBN policy. That one was for the boat people. This one's for Internet filters that may or may not have been real policy. That one was saying that computer games don't create well adjusted human beings...wait.
Splinter Cell is the original stab you in the back while you aren't looking game (Hello, ALP). What could be more appropriate? Of course if you aren't into subtle (much like a Katter), you can just run up and attack. The game's full of conspiracy theories (like Clive Palmer) and of course there are also heaps of non-playable characters who just repeat the same lines over and over again... much like Abbott.
That's it! I've got my preferences sorted: The game you should be playing this election is Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Blacklist, out now for PC, PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii U.
(For bonus points: Go to Monza see a Formula 1 race. That's what I'm doing, and my train is here so I'm out!)
I'm what you get when you cross a Pig and an Elephant. I like Video Games, Video, and tormenting small creatures. Twitter me, Punkley