Welcome to Player Attack!
Get ready to Meet the Pyro, as Valve kicks off Pyromania, a three-day celebration highlighting a few major game changes for Team Fortress 2 - and, of course, the release of the ninth (and final) instalment in the Meet the Team series of video shorts.
Today, festivities kick off with Doomsday, an all-new game mode packed with seven "Astro-chievements" and, um, Poopy Joe.
Doomsday pits BLU against RED, with only one team getting the honor of transporting a suitcase nuke full of recalled Mann Co. Australium to American monkeynaut Poopy Joe’s rocket, so he can blast off and hunt down Soviet space chimp Vladimir Bananas. It's the same spirit of competitive enterprise that stalled the moon landing by three years when Buzz Aldrin suplexed Neil Armstrong into a pile of folding chairs at Astromania '69! Both teams will attempt to get the necessary fuel up a preposterously slow-moving elevator and into Poopy Joe’s Australium-powered rocket to the stars
This is just the beginning: The official Pyromania website (just look at those flames!) contains a countdown to the cinematic launch, plus daily unlockable updates on what's being added to Team Fortress 2.
...and if you scroll down, there's even a banana-flavoured Easter Egg all about our new hero.
Jimmy the Geek